kukkijar | Teddy Altman ; APPOINTMENTS

Hey, hey. Don't talk like that.

[That's it, keep breathing. Teddy takes in a couple more of those breaths of his own, before he keeps talking, the hand not busy helping Billy concentrate soothing up and down the mage's back.]

If it's bothering you like this, then it's not stupid. This isn't something anyone can control.

[Billy scoffs very quietly, tilting his head forward just enough to bump it against Teddy's, closing his eyes and just resting like that for a while. Nothing soothes him like the presence and the touch of his boyfriend, gentle and supportive and loving, and he knows that he can help Teddy the same way. It's not much, but it's something, right?]

I guess I.. don't feel much like a hero right now, that's all. I just ran away...

[Teddy lowers his own head, enough for him to brush his nose against Billy's hair and shuts his own eyes. He wishes he could help more; do more research into this, get a surefire way to help him without throwing some stupid medical diagnosis at him even though Teddy's sure he's right, work through it together. But he's doing his best with the knowledge he has, and he just hopes it's helping his boyfriend at least a little. He hadn't always learned how to do those breathing exercises, after all.]

I'm sure all those heroes who've run away before all felt the same way. But you know what? They're there to fight and save the world again. Just like how I know you'll be able to.

...Mm.

[Billy's response is noncommittal, but he doesn't argue against it, either. His fingers curl almost possessively in Teddy's shirt again, and he pitches forward after a long moment, burying his face in the space between the blond's shoulder and neck. He's okay, really- and if he's not, he will be in time. He just needs to be close to Teddy right now, and it'll take a while before he's ready to move away.]

I'll have to... apologize to her. Later, I mean.

[She'd looked so worried, but he couldn't stay there. Hard to explain yourself when your throat's closing up and you feel like you're ready to burst.]

Yeah, you do. Later. Right now, let me take care of you.

[Teddy slides his hand down to the small of Billy's back, still under his shirt, so that he can touch the skin, and moves the other from his diaphragm up to his unruly black hair, to stroke the strands slowly.. He rests his head against Billy's for a long moment, just making small circles in his back and keeping his eyes shut, and then he opens them when a thought comes to his mind.]

Can I show you something? We don't have to get up for it.

Edited 2012-10-03 05:50 (UTC)

[Teddy's words make Billy look up, brows furrowed, but his expression visibly questioning. At a time like this, what could Teddy possibly want to show him?]

What is it...?

Here, back up just a little...

[Teddy leans back, hands withdrawing from Billy to just rest in his lap at first. He'll at least give an explanation before doing this, just for reassurance.]

I noticed this a few days ago. I was going to wait until we were making out and stuff to show you, but now seems like the best time. Trust me, okay?

[With that, Teddy moves his hands back to take the hem of his shirt, then lift it up and arch his back to slide his shirt off in one smooth motion, revealing his upper body. After that, he leans back on his hands and just gives an affectionate smile, waiting for Billy to notice what he's talking about.]

[It doesn't take long for it to click, for Billy to see exactly what Teddy's trying to show him. He's given enough of his attention to that particular part of Teddy's body - for more reasons than merely intimacy - to know it better than any other, besides his face. He knows every curve, every contour, every muscle. Every scar.

Now, though? There are no scars. And Billy feels more than hears the choked noise that escapes his lips then, and he reaches out almost desperately to brush his hands over the exposed skin, shoulders shaking a little. Oh god, he is so going to start crying again.

This time, though... he's happy. He's so, so happy. They're gone. No leftover wounds from that horrible day, no shift in texture of the skin when he touches it. No tiny lines to remind them of what they'd gone through every time there's a mirror nearby.

It feels like... real freedom, in a way. A release.]

[That smile of Teddy's grows into something warm and happy when Billy notices. Yes, he had noticed the fact that his stomach no longer held any scars just recently; he'd run his hand over his stomach after staring at the mirror, felt nothing but the smooth texture of skin and muscle, and nearly cried himself right there.

Every single time he saw them, he'd remember the knife, the saw, the blade, the screams, the blood, and now... it really is like freedom. There's still the scars on Billy's ears, ones that will likely never completely fade from view. Teddy will look at them and be reminded of that awful day, of the instruments they used on Billy, the way he cried out and the Warden enjoyed it -

But this isn't about that. This is a step towards the freedom they've both been seeking.

With Billy's hands on his stomach, Teddy reclines, moving his wings under him so that he can lie on them properly. He's on his back now, still smiling so much, yet staying quiet.

He already had his moment. It's Billy's time, now.]

[Billy leans in to follow him down, shifting his hands to slide Teddy's shirt further up to get a full view. He spends a long moment just staring at his stomach, exploring every fraction of an inch of the exposed skin to make sure that it's just as flawless as it had been since the day they'd met. His hands are still stroking over Teddy's skin, thumbs brushing back and forth and marveling at how smooth it is. It's beautiful. Beautiful and perfect.

Satisfied that no scars remain, Billy finally gives in to the urge he'd felt for a while now: he bows his head to kiss Teddy's stomach, pressing his forehead against bare skin, and just goes ahead and lets himself cry again.

Happy, though. He's happy.]

[Teddy always felt a surge of discomfort when Billy would touch his stomach like that. The mage was always gentle, yes, making sure to never use his nails or to brush his teeth against it. But Teddy couldn't help it; his stomach would turn, as if reacting to pressure against it and his throat would burn and -

"Stop it, please, stop it!! You're killing him! Teddy, Teddy!!"

However, they'd spent a while trying to get used to the other's touch. It's all right, now. That kiss, the touch of the forehead, the tears that gather and travel along the lines of his abdomen; if Teddy had to be honest, it still felt like Billy was touching skin that was all too sensitive.

But... he's happy, too. He's so happy to share this with Billy, to see his boyfriend react like this. To see him so happy, to feel it in return...

Teddy moves his hands to thread his fingers into Billy's hair, as if to hold him and keep him there, to hold and cherish him. This is something the both of them could use.]

[He doesn't linger on it; he knows, from the past, how sensitive Teddy is about it, much like Billy himself is about his ears sometimes. Teddy respects and understands that fear of being touched, and the least Billy can do is treat his sensitivity with the same respect. He slides upwards, scrubbing one hand across his eyes and bending down to kiss him, briefly, before burying his face right back against Teddy's neck and more or less draping himself over the blond's body, holding him close, right there on the floor. His trembling is starting to still, relaxing bit by bit, and he feels more like himself again with each passing moment.

The memories are still there; maybe they always will be. But Teddy's the one who always knows how to chase them away.]

Teddy Altman ; APPOINTMENTS

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[action, sept 25th] JHSJDFHF QUOTE...