kukkijar | Teddy Altman ; APPOINTMENTS

[Billy sits, the very picture of obedience - anything to keep himself out of the proverbial doghouse, okay - but still leans over to peer at Teddy and try to see what he's up to. His brows lift when he sees the supplies Teddy had ready, visibly surprised.]

You were practicing? [He pauses, another realization dawning in his mind.] ...In case I was hurt when I got back?

[That's... actually really touching, wow. Leave it to Teddy to keep his head clear and think ahead; Billy's pretty sure he'd have wasted the entire week angrily smacking his head against the barrier or something.]

[Teddy glances up at him with a little smile, shy and sheepish, before he turns his attention downward to turn Billy's hands over, palms up.]

You guessed it. [He runs a hand down Billy's inner wrist, stopping just before the burns.] I was... I thought you'd come back really hurt, or something, just like most of the other kidnappings I saw. So instead of thinking too much about it...

[He stands now that he got a good look at the burns, taking the bowl and washcloth up with him, to start filling the bowl with cold water.]

I decided to do something instead. Mia took up my offer really fast, so we started to do some one-on-one practicing, and...

[Teddy trails off once the bowl is full, and then he's kneeling again. With the bowl at his side, and the washcloth now soaked in the cold water, he squeezes out the excess, then gently dabs at Billy's hands.]

These look like electrical burns. Mild, easy to dress. Did you get them from fighting...?

...Well. Good for you, I'm glad.

[And that's the truth; he's proud of Teddy, his accomplishments and initiative. He made good use of his time, and now Billy gets to reap the benefits of it.

His smile is soft, watching Teddy work, though it's a bit sheepish at the question. His hands aren't that terrible, though they're dirty and a bit inflamed after going six days untreated in a crappy prison cell, so they don't look great, either. What's worse in his mind is the cause.]

Yeah, uh. Turns out that super-charging a robot with lightning right before it grabs you isn't a great idea. I should've just tried to zap them apart or something, but they got the jump on me.

Mmm.

[Unlike earlier, this is a very displeased sound. Yeah, Teddy asked, but he's not sure if he wanted to hear it. That Billy had to fight alone, that Teddy wasn't aware until it was too late...

Pepper assured him that it wasn't his fault, that it was out of his control. But he still feels pretty lousy about it.]

Sorry I wasn't there. [A small pause, and:] The burns aren't that bad, but we'll probably need to do this twice a day or so until the inflammation goes down. It wouldn't be so bad if they'd been treated right away...

[But alas, he knows that one simple cleaning and covering with anti-septic won't immediately heal them. He's always overestimated the human body and, particularly, how long it needs to heal, and it took seeing, reading, and hearing to really understand. All the anatomy and health books in the world couldn't really prepare him for really experiencing it, after all.]

[Since his hands are otherwise occupied, Billy leans forward and tilts his head to nuzzle it against Teddy's, his lips resting in the blond's hair for a long moment. He can tell by the tone that Teddy's not happy, and by his words, even if the mention of it had been brief, he can still recognize why. He'd feel the same way if their roles were reversed; he'd felt it before, after all, seeing Teddy get hurt or taken away and being helpless to prevent it.]

...Hey. It's okay, it's not your fault. I felt better knowing you were safe while I was there.

[Not that it felt great, getting locked up in some grimy science lab, but at least the last image of the village hadn't been Teddy fighting the bots, or lying unconscious somewhere, or worse.

He shudders briefly, wishing he'd pulled back beforehand, but too little too late. He should be focusing on the injuries, and Teddy's good work, not horrible what-ifs.]

[Caught again. Not that Teddy was trying too hard, but he still feels touched when Billy can pick out what's bothering him and zero in on that rather than Teddy's attempts to wave it off and focus on something else. The nuzzle and the half-kiss makes him pause in his movements and shut his eyes, just enjoying the intimacy of it, listening to his words. Feeling that shudder - a movement which makes him lift his own head to press their foreheads together.]

Still wish I could've helped. Or at least found a way to break you out.

[Though he doesn't continue his treatment for now, he does stroke his thumbs gently against Billy's inner wrists; I couldn't do any of those things, but I can do this for you now.]

[Billy indulges in the closeness for a long moment without responding, letting the touch of his boyfriend soothe his frayed nerves and give the bad memories a chance to settle. The touch is a reminder that he's back now, safe again, away from all of that. He's with Teddy, and Teddy can protect him, even from his own miserable head.]

...Mm, I don't know how many times I can handle you coming to my rescue and breaking me out of prison. I'll start feeling obligated to put on a pink dress and a crown. Oh, and dye my hair blonde.

[Because what better way is there to lighten the mood with Teddy than a video game reference?]

[... Yeah, okay, that makes him let out a snort while ducking his head - though with his head against Billy's, he ends up moving both of them as a result. Once he realizes that, he backs up again, getting right back to work, but with a smile on his face. Trust his boyfriend to know when to say the right things, even if the mental images that come with it are a little bizarre.]

And do I need to wear a red hat and shirt with blue overalls? And grow a big mustache? Because I can do it right now, B.

[... Still creepy. But awfully convenient. Teddy frowns down at the journal, knowing that it's probably pushing too much to ask, but...]

Can you tell me when he comes back, too? Just a quick message or something? ~~If he's hurt~~

[It's Billy's turn to scoff, leaning back until he hits the tank, leaning against it at an awkward angle.]

I think I'd probably die laughing, so maybe we'd better refrain from doing that. Besides, Buffy said I'm way too cute to go blond.

[As mortifying as that word can be when associated with him, he knows that Teddy enjoys it.]

That had been my thought. I shall do so.

Well, she's right about that. You are way too cute, and sorry, babe, but you'd make a terrible blond.

[The image makes Teddy grin as he works, because honestly, he's the only one allowed to be the blond around here. There are a few dirty spots still on Billy's hands, and with them being untreated, they're a little hard to clean out. Still, Teddy works at the spot, diligent and gentle, until he can take the cloth away and find clean hands. Still inflamed, still burned, but clean at least.]

[Teddy lets out a long sigh at that, at least one little worry die down to a small, glowing ember rather than adding to the blazing bonfire in his mind.]

Thank you.

Edited 2013-05-29 21:03 (UTC)

Don't I know it.

[Seriously, he knows his skintone. It would look terrible.

He looks down now, spotting his hands and making a face. It's nice to see them clean - they'd looked much worse with days-old dirt caked on - but they're not pretty, either.]

Ugh, those better not scar. I don't want to be stuck with weird-looking fish hands.

[There goes his vanity again.]

I'd love you even if you had fish hands, you know.

[He would press a kiss to them, but not after he just cleaned them, jeez. Now to squeeze out the water from the washcloth, only to pour anti-septic into it instead, allowing the bowl to catch the excess.]

But nurse Altman is on it anyway. Just think of it like an episode of Grey's Anatomy.

[... Much as it displeases him to say it, considering a certain female doctor on the show.]

You are welcome.

[It isn't that Loki cares in the slightest about Teddy; it's that this is a thing he will do for Billy's sake.]

She's actually- [Hiss, because ow,] A doctor. On the show. ...But you're way better looking, even excusing my personal bias.

[...Nice to hear, though, even if it's something he subconsciously knew. Teddy's stuck with him when he had a zombie leg, too, and when he was accidentally electrocuting teammates, and when he threatened to kill someone... yeah, Teddy's seen him at his worst already.]

Glad to hear a gay man thinks I'm at least better looking than a girl.

[Kidding, kidding, and his smile shows it. Thankfully he's not the panicking, always stopping and asking if he's okay mess that he was when he first redressed a wound of Billy's. These things are painful, yes, but they're brief, even though he really doesn't like to hurt Billy in any way. It's a necessary evil to provide a world of good, so he tries not to bring attention to it.

Also, there's the Kaplan pride to consider.]

Bandages next. Ready?

Ready as I'll ever be.

[His voice sounds about as enthusiastic as his words; he's glad to have his injuries treated properly, but he hates the process, at the same time. He'll just be glad to get it over with.

Sighing quietly, he ducks his head and closes his eyes, teeth clenched. He doesn't know how much it'll hurt, but it's better to expect the worst and be pleasantly surprised.]

Okay, go ahead.

[On his way to Tony and Pepper's for one of his weekly visits, and on his way back as well, Billy has a fair bit of time to think to himself without Teddy hovering over his shoulder, something he's been very fond of lately when he isn't sick and tucked away in his room recovering from the apparently-traumatic experience of going outside. That's probably what's the most worrisome part about all of this; the fact that Billy has been more inclined to go out and see people than Teddy. He's normal enough at home, if kind of... clingy? No, that's not the word for it. Enthusiastic, desperate, almost. Most definitely trying to hard.

It reminds him of the old days, the old Teddy, the one he hadn't liked much because of how fake he'd been. And the way he's acting now isn't nearly as bad - he's still very much himself - but the familiarity is eating away at him, only fueling the fans of concern and stress and yes, a bit of guilt. All this time he'd thought it was a side-effect of the possession, or of being drained by Twila (and Billy himself), but as the days passed and the way the sporadic condition only worsened, he couldn't shake the suspicion that something else is going on here.

As he returns to the apartment, he's always decided, his expression both worried and resolute: enough waiting. He's confronting Teddy about this, right now.]

...Teddy? I'm home, are you here?

[...He asks, but he's pretty sure he knows already that the answer is yes.]

[Teddy, meanwhile, had been out of his mind with worry, what with Billy alone and at someone else's house, and so he tried to keep himself busy instead. Cleaning the apartment, cleaning it again, playing with Optimus, even cooking supper, a favorite of Billy's, if mediocre for Teddy. But what Billy loves, Teddy will love, isn't that right?

Supper is finished, and by the time Billy does come home, Teddy is slowly pacing the kitchen with his arms over his stomach and seeming to murmur to himself, occasionally glancing from side to side.]

He'll be back.

[...]

No, you're right, I shouldn't have let him go alone, but I can't just -

[...]

I know, I know; God, he must be sick of me, I need to try -

[Then he hears Billy's voice, and he immediately seems to light up, the ache in his stomach gone, and he moves to greet him in the living room.]

Billy! [And then a welcoming embrace, he's home and safe, what a relief.] Hey... where else would I be, huh?

[Not like there's much to do on Sundays, or any day, he should cancel everything, devote himself entirely like he should have done.]

[Where else would he be.

And... had he just been talking to himself...?

It's getting worse, again. He's not surprised to find Teddy here, but he is a little disappointed. He'd hoped, even a little, that he might've ventured out a bit, but apparently even that was too much. Now that he's actually inside, Billy can smell the pleasant scent of dinner, one of his favourites, something he'd been spoiled with for days. He'd even cooked on a day that Billy had agreed to bring take-out home, just so he wouldn't have a reason to go out, or in case there wasn't enough food to satisfy him... if it had been anyone else, it would've been creepy, bordering on stalking behaviour. With Teddy it's just. Alarming.

He holds his boyfriend in return, anyway, burying his face in Teddy's neck so he can't see the way his lips purse, the way his eyes crease with worry. Teddy's bound to notice eventually, but he wants to put it off just a little bit longer.

It's wrong, though. Something is definitely wrong.]

You didn't have to cook again, Ted. I could've brought something home.

Haha... well, why would you want to do that?

["I'm here. You don't have to worry about anything as long as I'm here."]

I'm here. You don't have to worry about anything as long as I'm here.

[Billy shouldn't have to do extra work. He should be stress-free, now that everything is over. The kidnapping, the possession that happened so shortly after - it's over, he should be safe.

Love is worth fighting for.

After a moment of just enjoying the embrace and how the world feels safe and at ease with Billy in his arms and being held in return, the peace fades and the anxiety starts to claw at him when he feels the expression against his neck. It wasn't smiling or content, though Teddy has to pull back a little to see what kind of expression he has.]

... Why the long face? Did something happen?

[Billy studies him for a long moment, trying to mask his concern, but looking at Teddy like this only makes him feel worse. He's trying so hard, worrying about him now, and it's such a Teddy thing to do that it hurts. It could almost be normal if it wasn't for the isolation it was causing, the unbalance. He likes it when Teddy's there for him, he likes to be taken care of. But he remembers that Teddy used to like it when Billy did the same for him, too. Now it's like he doesn't even have the chance.

My turn... sorry, Teddy. He reaches a hand back to press his palm against Teddy's cheek, thumb stroking gently.]

Yeah... something did happen. But I think it happened here, not out there.

Here?

[That little pain from seeing other people is coming back, though it's much more dull than if he'd been outside. It's like that feeling when you see a loved one get hurt on the battlefield, a feeling Teddy knows all too well, a fear that makes every single part of your body ache and want to leap in to save that loved one.

Except Billy isn't in any danger, right?

With no way to let out that fear, Teddy simply tenses instead, his hand lifting up to cup Billy's against his cheek.]

What do you mean? [...] Did I... do something?

[No, no, no! Teddy made Billy worried, made him stressed, made him feel unsafe. Why did he do that, what did he do - He frowns, head ducking down - Of course he knows what he did, he's acting so - He cringes, hand tightening around Billy's - "WHAT DID YOU DO? What can you do?"]

Is there anything I can do...? That's right.

Teddy Altman ; APPOINTMENTS

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[Written, May 20, late]

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[Written, May 20, late] er.... can we pretend that he did? ^^;;;

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[Written, May 20, late] of course!

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