kukkijar | Luke fon Fabre; Appointments

[It wasn't that long ago that Luke went to bed - probably just thirty minutes before Xion arrived. The moon lamp is on, and the tea he'd been drinking earlier sits empty on the nightstand, beside the picture of his girlfriend. He'd flopped onto his back just a few minutes before the portal showed itself, the tiger doll he'd been holding now at his side. He hadn't passed into deep sleep yet - it always took Luke a while to get there.

The portal doesn't wake him, and at first, he isn't aware that his other side is occupied as well. And yet slowly but surely, the extra warmth and the wet spot on his shoulder begins to rouse him. He doesn't jerk awake, only frowns as he's pulled back into the waking world. Just a few days ago he would've fallen back asleep, as the fog of sickness was too much to try wading through. But he's better now, and so he opens his eyes a crack to stare up at the ceiling.

Luke doesn't need to look to see who's there. He'd worried, of course, but he kept himself away from her. He knew that he wasn't what she needed, that he'd only make things worse, and so he merely checked his journal more than he usually did and left her alone. And now, she's here. He doesn't need to ask how she's doing; in fact, he doesn't need to say anything at all.

All he does is bend his arm at the elbow to gently stroke his fingers across the back of her jawbone, and turn his head enough to kiss her forehead, just like she did when he cried for her. He's here, and nothing could ever make him leave her. Not even this hidden illness he has.]

[ She clings to him, presses up against him so she's flush with his side, as if she can somehow tie him there with only her body. As if she can keep him, too, from leaving her.

Honestly, one of the reasons she's crying is him. She has so much she just feels so scared about, and he's a big part of it. Nothing is certain, right now -- absolutely nothing is okay.

Here, in the dark, in the comfort of his warmth and his presence, she just lets it all go, all the pain and the grief, everything she'd felt bad showing around Roxas and Kairi. She doesn't know what to say. She doesn't know much of anything, right now. ]

[She'll find herself pressing against his chest instead, as he's turning onto his side to do this better. Maybe she doesn't need him to hold her, maybe all she needs is to cry on him and show that side of herself. But hearing her cry, knowing that so many things aren't well in her life right now... it makes him want to do something for her, even something small.

Once he's on his side, he wraps an arm around her and moves enough to rest his chin on her head. It's a lot like tucking her away in his warmth, hiding her from whatever else might be out there. And maybe at this angle, she can hear his heart beating. He's not really sure, but he hopes so.]

[ Xion chokes on one of her sobs, bringing one arm up to wrap around his chest while her other remains presses against his body. It's not extraordinarily comfortable, but it brings her that much closer to him, and it helps. It helps to be folded into his warmth, like she'll be safe here, even if she's distantly aware that even he can't keep her safe from the evils this place can do, can be, can bring.

Sora and Axel leaving have left a hole in her heart that nothing and no one can fill. And like she's wondered so many times before, she wonders now if she'll ever smile again.

It takes her a long time to cry herself out. Probably ten minutes pass before her tears start to slow, before her sobs turn into hiccups turn into slow breaths, fraught though those breaths are with quiet, slowing tears. Eventually she turns her head to press the side of her face to his chest, tucking her head a little more securely beneath his chin, and that's when she hears his heartbeat.

Finally she stops crying altogether, just breathing and listening to the drumming of life in his chest. But she doesn't say anything, still. There is still nothing to say. ]

[His other arm rested above her head, bent enough so that his fingers were in his own hair. Sure, it was a little uncomfortable, and after ten minutes the ache in his arm was turning into a sharp sting, but it didn't matter. What mattered was the girl crying in his arms and against his chest, letting out everything and pressing so tight against him that it was hard to tell where he began and she ended. And maybe that's what she wanted, to keep him tied to her. He wishes he could do that, too. There are a lot of things he wishes for that has to do with her… It's just such a shame that half of them can't come true.

At some point, though, her cheek presses against his chest, and then her crying slows and stops. Luke has an idea of what she's hearing, too… And he can't help the faintest and briefest of smiles. There were moments like this when he listened to her breathe and felt her heartbeat when he rested her head on her, and he always felt a sense of intimacy in them that couldn't be reached with touches. To hear, to feel the life in the other, to know that it was real, a real beat and a real rhythm of breath…

Though it makes another sting shoot up his arm, he maneuvers it to gently brush strands of hair out of her face and behind her ear, and he leans his head down enough to press his lips against the top of her had. It's half a kiss and half not; it's more of a presence, another sense of touch, than anything else.

He, too, says nothing. Nothing needs to be said. It's just the two of them, grieving and offering to share it with her. Luke knows he can't make things completely okay, that he couldn't fill the hole in Xion's heart no matter how desperately he wished he could. But he can, at least, offer his own. And she's the only one he'd ever give it to like this.]

[ She sighs finally, quietly, tired now from having cried so hard for so long. And she's all stuffed up and it's really gross, but she knows he doesn't care, so she doesn't care, either. What she does do is wriggle the arm that's against his chest free, and lean back a little so she can use it to touch his face.

Part of her thinks she should thank him, but she doesn't know how. She doesn't have the words. Instead, she tilts her head up and presses a gentle kiss to his chin, hoping that says it for her. I love you. Thank you. ]

[It's enough. That faint smile of his grows a little, and he brings his own arm up from around her to press her hand to his cheek.

I'm always here.

After that pause, to convey something like that, he leans in to touch foreheads with her, and he lets go of her hand to touch her own face. Despite the wetness that may be there, or how gross it might look and feel.

I love you too.

Lately it's become difficult to put just how he feels into words. Hopefully, this'll be enough, too.]

[ He's so warm. And she loves him so much. For just a few minutes, she wants to pretend there isn't anything wrong between them. That he isn't keeping a terrible, dark secret that makes her chest constrict with pain whenever she thinks about him. For just a little while, she wants to pretend, and believe that everything is okay. Because she feels so safe here, so comforted -- she wants a reprieve, even for just a moment.

After a moment passes, she sits up, sighing again with a sheepish smile. She reaches out to touch his face, brushing some of his hair back, smiling faintly in the dim light. ]

I got your shirt all wet.

[He gives a half smile and sits up with her - at least he can do that much now. The "cold" he had thanks to the miasma had left him bedridden in the middle of it, only able to get up and be relatively okay during these last few days. Now he feels much better, even if he still feels a little stuffed up.

Now, he'd rather not think about that dark secret he's hiding, too. Not just from her, but almost everyone he knows. Thinking about it makes him terrified, enough that he feels like he can barely breathe, like the only way to get out of it is to just scream and run from it all.

Here, right here... He feels so safe and warm. Even though he's the one who's being needed, he's the one doing the comforting, he still feels that way. And it's not often that he can get that. Not him, who usually has to push fear aside and leap in even if he's really shaking in his boots. But right now... There's nothing to be afraid of.

As she touches his face and points out his shirt, Luke glances down at his shirt - she's right, of course. He has half a mind to take off his shirt, and one hand plays at the end of it as if to consider it, but, well...]

Who cares? I'll just get another one later.

[He reaches out as well, to brush away the tear tracks on her face. His smile is faint as well as his voice - talking at a normal volume seems weird, after their quiet moment earlier.]

Do you need anything? A tissue, or...?

[ Her eyelids flutter shut when he so gently touches her face, and her eyelashes still glitter with tears. But it helps, and she sighs, quietly and deeply. ]

I'm-- [ She almost says "okay," and stops herself with a small smile. ] Sure. I could use one.

[ She keeps breathing, taking deep breaths in and out. She feels a lot better, though she knows it's only temporary. But the respite from the darkness of her grief is nice. ]

... I'm sorry I didn't contact you sooner. It was like I couldn't even function.

It's okay.

[He lets his fingers stay on her cheek for a moment before he stands up, easily finding the tissues on his dresser. He speaks as he grabs and holds the box in his hands, his eyes lingering on the two pictures he has that share the same space.]

That's why I waited, you know. I don't think I would've been a big help back there. [Sure, it would've been like if Asch was gone... but Xion was still connected to Sora on a level that Luke couldn't fathom, and he knew it. He still turns to smile again, and he heads back to hand her the box as he sits on the bed again.] But I'm glad you're here now. I was really worried...

[ She takes the box gratefully, pulling out a tissue and pressing it to her face, then blowing her nose. Bluh, she really is gross, and he loves her all the same. When he sits she leans against him, not looking up, pressing a new tissue to her face. ]

Sorry I worried you...

[ It's a murmur. She's shut her eyes. She's exhausted from the outpouring of emotion. ]

Mmm.

[He warps an arm around her shoulders, supporting her and keeping her there. He isn't surprised that she's exhausted; she just poured out all of her emotions and all.

So, he gently strokes her upper arm as speaks:] You can sleep here with me for the night. I don't think Asch would mind either.

... I'd like that. I have to go back in the morning, though, so I don't wake up everyone else. [ She doesn't move, though, or lift her head. It's like she wants to fall asleep right here. ]

... All right.

[Which means he'll probably wake up alone. That'll be fine by him... even though falling asleep with her and waking up without her is always a bit jarring, a bit lonely. But there's no need to say so and make her feel a little worse.

So, taking notice of how Xion seems to be falling asleep right there, he slowly leans the two of them back on the bed, only to let go of her, push himself up, and pull the covers up to her shoulders. As he lays himself down again, he lifts up a hand to brush her hair behind her ear, a small smile on his face. Even in this low light, after she just cried from her soul, she still looks as beautiful as she always does to him.]

Just wake me up if you need anything else, all right?

[ She's smiling a little when he lays back down, warmed by the way he's taking care of her. Xion curls up against his side and presses a kiss to his shoulder. ]

Okay.

[ Not that she'll need to. She drifts off right there and then. ]

Luke fon Fabre; Appointments

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