kukkijar | Luke fon Fabre; Appointments

[ Of course she's there the whole time. She only leaves his side for his other guests, and to get changes of clothes for herself. And maybe something to eat.

It's very unfortunately reminiscent of the last time she almost died. And he was the one camping by her bedside.

Even if he doesn't say much, she stays, a quiet presence by his side. Sometimes she's reading a book, sometimes leaning the upper half of her body on the bed and dozing, sometimes just watching him quietly. She doesn't try to talk, much, though occasionally she reaches out to touch his hand, brush his hair back.

... she does sit on the side that faces the wall. Well, will, unless he tells her to move. It'd be hard, not to look at his face. To only see his back and imagine what he's thinking. Though seeing his eyes, when she does, isn't much better. There's just no light in them, only darkness.

But she stays and she waits. For him. Always for him. ]

[The 13th and 14th are, of course, not very good days for Luke. The first day he doesn't wake up at all, and the second he barely has any memory of. Colors swimming through his head; the white of the room, the blue of the blanket, the black of the hair.

On the 15th, he finally wakes up enough to push himself to his side, eyes squinted and haunted and sometimes squeezing shut when the memory plays through his head. He can only watch as the sword plunges through Asch's shoulder, the blood splatters back on him, there's pain in his own shoulder, and then he's up and screaming his name as Asch sends frantic thoughts to his head and the wound is horrible and Guy's face is free of any emotion -

When she touches his hand, his own turns to return it, tightly. And he shuts his eyes when she strokes his hair. But when he speaks, it's short and quiet, and he refuses to talk about what happened. He doesn't want to think about it more than he already is. And how could she understand, if he told them just who was the one who did this? He'd have to explain the curse slot first, and... that was something he didn't want to do.

On the 16th, Rapunzel brings pies, and it's something he has more of a reaction to. Months later, Luke can look back on that moment and laugh. Just the fact that the smell of such delicious food can rouse him from his thoughts. But right now, he can only eat a little, mostly the apple pie. He's still grateful all the same, and when Xion returns from wherever she went, they sit by the vase of flowers Miyabi brought him yesterday, and he even tells her to have some slices as well. That's about the most he can do, though.

The 17th and 18th pass by much the same way. He lays there, eyes dark as he stares at the wall, occasionally wincing when the memory of the event passes through his mind again, when he feels just how empty that space is where the fonic link used to be.

And during all of those days, Xion might notice something.

Luke will reach for his journal when he thinks she isn't looking or isn't there, and he writes little words, phrases, to one person in particular. Guy's name, asking if he's okay, to come visit him, to talk to him, saying he's worried, misses him, wants to know if he's safe.

And he never gets a reply. It's as if Guy never received the messages.

And sometimes when she sleeps, she might feel him stroking her hair, or letting his fingers caress her forehead and temple. He really is grateful that she's here, that he isn't alone. For as much as he doesn't want to see anyone, as much as he just wants to see Asch and no one else... He's so glad he isn't alone. He isn't sure if he can handle being alone with the thoughts that swirl in his head.]

Edited 2012-05-17 21:18 (UTC)

[ As much as she wants to know about what -- what happened, what caused all of that, she never actually asks.

But she does come, slowly, to notice how much he's contacting -- someone. Eventually she manages to stop reacting and not look up from her book when he does it, but she's watching out of her peripheral vision. And there's only ... one person he could be trying to reach.

It's what gives her the idea, the day of the 17th, to go see Guy the next day. She's not sure what she'll learn, but she resolves to go. To try.

She leaves for an hour or two that afternoon to stop home and assure the others she okay, and to grab a quick shower and a change of clothes. On her way back to the clinic, she picks up a small container of strawberries, and sneaks them into his room, smiling a little as she returns to her seat beside his bed. ]

Hey.

[ She reaches out to touch his hand, as always, an almost reflexive motion by now, and sets the strawberries on the edge of the bed. ]

[Luke doesn't smile back. It feels like he hasn't smiled in ages. But he does glance up at her, and when she touches his fingers to his, he lifts them up a little to return the gesture. There's another slice of pie missing, and his journal is in a different place than when she left, indicating its usage.

But the strawberries certain catch his eye. He gives it a look, before his gaze lifts to her again.]

Strawberries?

[ She shrugs a little. He might recognize that she's actually a little embarrassed. ]

I just thought it might be nice to have some.

Mm... Could be.

[With that thought in mind, he begins the slow task of sitting himself up. It's painful, but it gets the job done. He gets his right elbow under him, pushes himself up, then shifts to his hand and pushes once more, until he can right himself. He has to cringe every time due to the pain in his collarbone, but at least it's not as bad as the first few times he tried it. The healers have done a fantastic job so far.

Once he's up, he shifts his legs to a better position, and he takes the strawberries in his one good hand.

...

Then holds it out to her, since he can't exactly open it with one hand.]

[ A sigh. She hasn't done much healing of him herself since she literally made herself ill keeping him from dying. ... she hasn't even asked if he remembers that, and kind of doesn't want to know.

She'd offer, but she can't do much more than the healers. So she just watches him carefully in case he might slip, which he doesn't, to her relief. ... and then he holds the strawberries out to her, and a real smile catches her, despite herself.

Xion takes them, opening them up and removing the plastic wrapping over the little basket. She scoops out two, and presses them into his good hand, stroking her fingers briefly over his. ]

[There's a small "mm" in thanks, and his fingers curl slightly to let their fingers pass over each other. Then he looks down at the strawberries for a moment, his scattered thoughts occupying him for that time, before he brings them up to chew idly on one.

He hasn't eaten much, nor slept. When he tried the latter, he'd usually wake up before long, eyes wide from the scene that played through his head. And the former... he just hasn't had much of an appetite. Not when he can sometimes still see the blood on him.

So he's eating slowly. Slower than he normally would, and that's saying a lot.]

[ She watches him in silence, for a moment, her smile fading into something much softer, a little sad, but ultimately understanding. She gets to her feet and leans forward, brushing his hair away from his forehead to press a kiss there.

Then she sits again, reaching for her book and a strawberry. She's been content with the silence, largely. Content to let it be, anyway - she sees no reason to push him. ]

[The first strawberry is done after a minute or two, and as he starts on the second one, his eyes drift to her face, then down, at the book she's reading. He doesn't have the will to ask what it is; he just waits for an opportunity to turn it enough for him to see the cover. Or to tell him outright, if she notices.]

[ She does notice, after a few moments. She blinks when she senses his attention, glancing up and noticing where his gaze is going. A smile passes over her features, and she holds up the book so he can see the title. Perhaps unsurprisingly, it's a book on herbal medicines. Always studying, this one. ]

[Normally, Luke would dramatically roll his eyes and wonder out loud how she can study outside of school related reasons. Now, however, he still rolls his eyes, though it's more of a light gesture, before he returns his attention to the strawberry. There's still that exasperation, at least, rather than just complete dismissal. And while Luke does want to learn about healing as much as he can, there's only so much reading and studying on the subject he can take without his eyes glazing over.]

[ She giggles. She can't help it. She knows what he's getting at, anyway, and it's sort of a reminder that he's still in there, somewhere, beneath all the sorrow and the hurt. ]

It's not as bad as you think, you know.

[ But it will pass. The next day, the 18th, is when she makes her post, and absconds from his room for rather longer than usual - for her spar, and to clean up and shower, eat and rest. And, eventually, see Guy. She comes back in the evening, very subdued, though she's been subdued since the fight, so maybe this is not unusual.

She's brought food again. A sandwich, this time. A stop at Seventh Heaven secured dinner for them both. She peeks in, first, to see if he's even awake or not. ]

[It's hard to tell if he's awake or asleep these days, considering how he lays so still and away from the door. But the shutting of a book once he hears the door indicates that he's made movement, as well as the shift of said book moving underneath the blankets.

He doesn't move to see who's there, though. Just stares quietly and wishes people would leave him alone.]

... I know you're up.

[ She sighs through her nose, slipping into the room and moving over to her chair by his bedside. But she doesn't sit. Instead she stands there, reaching out to touch his face. Her eyes are hooded, and her expression unreadable. The bag, with its food, is set on the floor. ]

I need to tell you something. [ A beat. ] I saw Guy.

[Though he doesn't react when she touches his face, his eyes do widen at the words she says. He turns his head to look up at her, very nearly pushing himself up on his shoulder at the news.]

... How is he?

[He's... a little afraid to ask. What will she say? That he's depressed? That he's hurt? That he's... pushing it aside, trying to act normal, trying to cope in that apathetic way he usually does? There has to be some reason he's not answering him...]

[ It tugs at her heart, the tiniest bit, that he doesn't react to her presence or her touch at all -- but he springs up like he's been shocked at news of Guy.

She shoves the feeling down and smiles, just a little. ]

He's okay. I mean, he will be. He seemed to be recovering just fine. Other than that, though... [ Her expression shifts, her smile fading. ] ... I can't really tell you.

[Slowly, his gaze falls again, though he seems to be staring at her wrist rather than at the wall. He's been waiting for news like that - for all he knew, Guy could be in just as bad as he was. But... he's recovering. That's good, at least.

Still...]

Why not?

He said...

[ ......

"I was the one who pulled my sword. I killed Asch. I tried to kill Luke. And I did so very aware of my intentions."

"Why are you trying to make me believe you're a murderer?"

"... what should I tell him you said?"

"Hah, that's not something for me to decide! Tell him whatever you want. I can't stop you."

"... so I should tell him you were too much of a coward to even come up with anything of your own?"

"Or you could just tell him exactly what I said."

"... so he's heard that ... you have nothing to say? That you'd want me to make something up?

The ... only thing you want your best friend to know is that you don't care what he knows?"

"The only thing I need my best friend to do is get himself better.

I said you could tell him whatever you want. If that means making something up... well, I'm not too fond of people putting words into my mouth like that. I wouldn't really expect you to stoop that low, either. But if you think that's best, then that's your decision."

It is a massive effort of will for Xion to keep her face clear, to keep her hands from curling into fists. To keep from being sick. In the end, her voice is very soft, her eyes hooded when she speaks. ]

I think... it's not my story to tell. He'll talk to you when he's ready. ... I just wanted you to know he's okay. I know you were worried about him.

[It's not what he wants to hear, and he can't help just staring for a moment. It's not her story to tell? What did Guy tell her? How... does he feel about all of this? When he's ready? He...

He's a little scared. About this whole situation, about Asch, about Guy, about himself, about... everything. Even her. How she's reacting. What she heard. How she's doing now.

So he slowly reaches out to take her hand, squeezing it gently. Both for himself and for her. He's worried about everything, scared of it, unsure if he wants to face it all. But she's here. And... she's been here this whole time.

He can only hold on to that for now.]

... Thanks. For... talking to him. For telling me.

[ She's actually a little startled by his show of support. She tries not to show it - tries very hard - but in the end, she can't help the way her hand twitches, the way her eyes dart to his face.

But then she relaxes, sighing out slowly, and curls her hand around his in return. ]

You're welcome. I just ... I saw you with the journal. I guessed you were trying to contact him, and ... I thought knowing he was okay would help you sleep a little better. [ She smiles, finally, and gives his hand a squeeze. ]

[He returns that squeeze, and... there's something about the shift in his lips that might indicate the faintest smile he's ever given. But it looks like it might be one all the same.]

I'm that obvious, huh...

... yeah. [ She smiles too, wide and sad and grateful. ] Or maybe I just know you that well. [ She laces their fingers together. ]

That's what I like to think. [Being obvious is not something he likes to be. Or maybe he just likes knowing that Xion knows so much about him.

Either way, he brings her hand closer, to let his lips rest against her fingers. Even without Asch, even without Guy... At least he isn't alone.]

[ She -- blushes, actually. Which maybe is weird, considering. But they haven't had much in the way of overly romantic or affectionate physical contact since -- since the day he told her the truth about what was happening to him -- and she's still surprised he's being so open, suddenly. At least, it sure seems open, after his complete lack of reaction these past few days. She understood, of course, but--

... it's nice.

Her mouth works, as if she's not sure whether she wants to actually smile the sort of charmed smile that wants to cross her face. But after a moment, she remembers the food and picks it up. ]

By the way ... I got us something. Again. [ Now with a real smile. ]

The whole week....

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