... I don't remember how long I stayed like that. I was so determined to stick to it. Even if I played with a toy or something, I'd just... get that memory in my head, drop it and get on the bed again.

Mom was the one who helped me out of it. I didn't really understand her then, but she said it enough times that I remember it now. "Don't let your fear control you. Let it become your motivation."

[Finally, his hold starts to loosen a little. He remembers sitting there on the bed, staring up at her with teary eyes while she held his hands with a gentle smile. Teddy didn't want to pull his hands away, lest he pull her with him. But he didn't want her to touch him either, she could get hurt... and she didn't.]

She worked with me. She'd let me hold things and see how much pressure I could use before it bent. She'd let me hold her and tell me if it was uncomfortable or not. She put me into an episcopal school to give me a better environment and something to believe in. She gave me stories about heroes with super strength, tv shows and everything... [His lips quirk up in a half smile of sorts.] And I hope you didn't think all those self-help books I gave you were for her.